1
00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:11,573
Roughly 5,000 feet
to the lighthouse,
2
00:00:11,644 --> 00:00:13,271
which according to
my calculations
3
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:16,008
makes this bay
about two miles wide.
4
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:18,517
Make a note of that,
would you, Jack?
5
00:00:19,919 --> 00:00:21,409
Jack?
What?
6
00:00:21,621 --> 00:00:25,216
We came here to make a hyper-accurate
survey map of the island, Jack,
7
00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:27,191
not tossed salad.
8
00:00:28,561 --> 00:00:29,926
Can I say something?
9
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:33,461
You're the only one I know
who'd wear a frock to the beach.
10
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,763
Why don't you pull up
a deck chair and relax?
11
00:00:35,835 --> 00:00:38,326
That lily-white tush of yours
could use some bronzing.
12
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:42,205
Yes, well, unfortunately with my
complexion, I don't bronze, I fricassee.
13
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:46,044
What do we need to make a map for,
anyway? We know our way around.
14
00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:49,513
In an emergency, knowing the lay
of the land can be half the battle.
15
00:00:49,582 --> 00:00:52,176
Trust me, sister,
I know the lay of the land.
16
00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:54,311
She lives over at Fifth
and Constitution.
17
00:00:55,288 --> 00:00:58,314
It's your mission in life
to offend me, isn't it?
18
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,985
Well, what are friends for?
19
00:01:01,127 --> 00:01:03,220
You know, I'm beginning
to believe we have slightly
20
00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:05,321
divergent definitions
of the word "friendship."
21
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:06,456
Oh, here we go.
22
00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,660
To you, friendship is
a rather superficial affair,
23
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:12,364
comprised mostly of catcalls,
darts, and a pitcher of ale.
24
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:14,667
And I suppose your idea
of palling around involves
25
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,835
a good cry and words like
"issues" and "closure."
26
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:21,813
Well, how else am I supposed to
build bonds of trust and loyalty?
27
00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:24,145
I mean, the very cornerstones
of a lasting friendship.
28
00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:26,777
Well, obviously you've never
shared a lap dance with a pal.
29
00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:28,649
(SIGHING)
30
00:01:29,122 --> 00:01:32,489
Well, Jack, it's still early, and if I'm
to tolerate you for the rest of the day,
31
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:35,426
I'd best get back to the lab
and get some real work done.
32
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:38,825
Oh, Em,
I hate to see you upset.
33
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:42,626
So I'll see you later.
34
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,800
(JACK CHUCKLING)
35
00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:54,746
Hey, I was only kidding.
36
00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:57,007
(GROANING)
37
00:01:57,083 --> 00:02:00,814
All right, you dang blasted injun
savage! Take us to your chief!
38
00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:03,685
Fellas, I'd love to join your little
quest for fire, I really would.
39
00:02:03,756 --> 00:02:05,951
But you got the wrong ape.
40
00:02:08,761 --> 00:02:10,285
I'll be damned!
41
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,956
Jackie boy?
Is that really you?
42
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,557
(STUTTERING)
It's gotta be!
43
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,432
Lookie there.
That scar on his chin!
44
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:18,903
Yeah.
45
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,270
Well, who are you guys?
How do you know about my scar?
46
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:22,774
We were there, remember?
47
00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:24,867
You cut yourself
carving a peephole
48
00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:26,809
in the stained glass window
at the convent.
49
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,438
(BOTH LAUGHING)
50
00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:31,508
Don't you recognize
your old childhood chums?
51
00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:33,245
Captain Meriwether Lewis.
52
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,844
And Commander William Clark
at your service!
53
00:02:36,856 --> 00:02:37,982
Lewis and Clark!
54
00:02:38,057 --> 00:02:40,321
I haven't seen you guys
in a hell of a long time.
55
00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:42,258
Hey, you're looking...
56
00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:44,921
Say, what's with the clothes?
57
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,761
Well, they're all pre-Ioved.
58
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,596
Yeah, and we mean...
59
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,067
BOTH: Pre-Ioved.
60
00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:52,866
So, what have you been up to?
61
00:02:52,939 --> 00:02:55,931
We decided to go into
the exploring business.
62
00:02:56,075 --> 00:02:57,133
Really? How's it going?
63
00:02:57,210 --> 00:03:01,146
Well, not bad. We've only
had two bad expeditions.
64
00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:02,738
Once we got lost at sea.
65
00:03:02,815 --> 00:03:05,375
Yeah, and once we crash-landed
on a deserted island.
66
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,812
So, how many expeditions
have you gone on?
67
00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:11,554
(STUTTERING)
This here's our third.
68
00:03:11,624 --> 00:03:12,613
CLARK: Yeah, third.
69
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:15,957
And to have you here on the
dawning of such a momentous occasion
70
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,691
makes our Yankee bosoms
swell with pride.
71
00:03:19,232 --> 00:03:20,699
What occasion is that?
72
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:26,936
I hereby claim this
sacred ground of Oregon
73
00:03:27,006 --> 00:03:29,099
for the United States
of America!
74
00:03:29,175 --> 00:03:31,006
(LEWIS AND CLARK WHOOPING)
75
00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:33,272
Hey, fellas, I hate to
break this to you,
76
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:35,507
but I think you zigged
when you should have zagged.
77
00:03:36,015 --> 00:03:39,041
What in the name of Sam Adams
are you blathering about, man?
78
00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:40,779
This isn't Oregon, fellas.
79
00:03:40,853 --> 00:03:44,516
Nice try, though. You only
missed it by about 10,000 miles.
80
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:58,566
In 1801,
the Revolution had been won
81
00:03:58,638 --> 00:04:00,731
And Uncle Sam's favorite son
82
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,502
Had a job he needed done
83
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,543
Which brought Jack to a lady
84
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,442
Both beautiful and smart
85
00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:08,605
Who found his mix intriguing
86
00:04:08,681 --> 00:04:10,581
A scoundrel with a heart!
87
00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:16,348
From the Halls of Montezuma
88
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,151
To the shores of Tripoli
89
00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:20,419
There was never
a leatherneck braver
90
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:22,256
A daring dragoon is he!
91
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:24,159
He'll halt the bold advance
92
00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:26,255
Of Napoleon's attack
93
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:28,562
There ain't a French
or pirate rogue
94
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:31,297
Who don't know Jack!
95
00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:34,366
From the Halls of Montezuma
96
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,305
To the shores of Tripoli
97
00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:38,574
Sailin' 'round
the bloody world
98
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:40,169
To defend democracy
99
00:04:40,246 --> 00:04:42,441
And when ya need
a fightin' man
100
00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:44,244
To trust or watch your back
101
00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:46,615
Just ask the bloke
right next to ya
102
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:47,675
Damn right!
103
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,312
It's Jack!
104
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:54,949
What?
105
00:04:55,161 --> 00:04:58,756
Wait a minute. Are you
saying this ain't Oregon?
106
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,159
Not exactly.
107
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:03,368
Fellas, this is an island
in the East Indies.
108
00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:10,504
Yeah, right. And pull the
other one. It plays reveille.
109
00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:12,168
(BOTH HOOTING AND LAUGHING)
110
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:14,172
Same old Jack.
111
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:16,909
Next thing he's gonna tell us
the Revolutionary War's over!
112
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,478
Well, now that you
mention it...
113
00:05:19,552 --> 00:05:22,385
Let me guess. Now we're
fighting the Frenchies.
114
00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:25,557
Well, now that you
mention it...
115
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:27,456
President Washington
would love that one!
116
00:05:28,861 --> 00:05:30,852
Say, Jackie,
why don't you help us
117
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:34,024
plant the American flag
all over this darned place?
118
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,132
I'd love to fellas,
I really would.
119
00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:39,638
But why don't you let me show you
something that'll bring you up to date?
120
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,439
JACK:
Read it and weep, fellas.
121
00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:47,842
BOTH: 1801?
122
00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:49,509
But it can't be.
123
00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:52,244
Could we have been on that
deserted island for so long?
124
00:05:52,318 --> 00:05:54,115
Look at the bright side,
fellas.
125
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:57,350
Now you get to explore the American
West without dodging British bullets.
126
00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,956
LEWIS: What are you
talking about, Jackie?
127
00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:01,215
(GASPING)
128
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:05,764
Oh, my. Perhaps you could've
warned me that we had company.
129
00:06:06,632 --> 00:06:09,658
Its okay, Em. They're just a couple
of old pals who need directions.
130
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:11,727
(MUTTERING)
And a sterilizing bath.
131
00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:14,302
Emilia, I want you
to meet Lewis and...
132
00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:19,442
Hands up,
you stuffy English muffin!
133
00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:20,501
CLARK: Yeah.
134
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:21,911
What's all this about?
135
00:06:21,981 --> 00:06:25,075
I can't believe it. Our old
pal working with a redcoat!
136
00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:27,381
Redcoat? No one's used
that term in 30 years.
137
00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:31,412
Shut your piehole,
you constipated crumpet-eater!
138
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:33,152
CLARK: Yeah, yeah.
139
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:36,223
I thought Jack had you there
with that fake newspaper!
140
00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:39,164
Are you kidding? I was
waiting for you to catch up.
141
00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:44,001
I remember Washington told us, never
put any stock in the written word
142
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,402
unless it come bearing
the presidential seal.
143
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:49,134
Yeah.
Imagine a so-called American
144
00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:52,439
trying to ensnare us
into a British trap. Yeah.
145
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:54,139
You boys have
got me all wrong.
146
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:56,846
(BOTH GRUNTING)
147
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,276
Freeze!
148
00:06:58,684 --> 00:07:00,584
Interrogation time, missy.
149
00:07:00,653 --> 00:07:03,349
You're gonna talk
or you're gonna die.
150
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,414
(BOTH LAUGHING)
151
00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:10,123
(GRUNTING)
152
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:21,433
That will teach you to be
so saucy, Baron Hollandaise.
153
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:26,401
Governor, I had no idea you
were so nimble with a blade.
154
00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:27,969
Of course, my dear.
155
00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:30,982
I have lately received
threats of assassination.
156
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,243
And after all I have
done for this island...
157
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:35,219
Idle threats, I'm sure.
158
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:38,488
I pray not, Baron.
I am anxious to prove
159
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:42,255
to any would-be assassin
the consequences of tangling
160
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:44,721
with the Governor.
161
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,957
(BROGARD CLEARING THROAT)
162
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:53,168
Governor,
pardon my interruption.
163
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:55,039
May I have a word?
164
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,371
This had better be
important, Brogard.
165
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:02,209
I have a very fine audience
this afternoon.
166
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:04,946
I don't wish to alarm you,
167
00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:07,417
but my men have found
an American canoe
168
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:11,287
with two sets of footprints
headed up the beach.
169
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:15,191
Mon Dieu, the assassins
are already here!
170
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:19,862
Must all great men surround
themselves with walls of stone?
171
00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:23,527
It is not fair.
It is not fair.
172
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:26,165
Governor, please.
173
00:08:29,408 --> 00:08:31,740
I want Mister Nipples.
174
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:42,483
Hello.
What is that, Mister Nipples?
175
00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:49,589
Mister Nipples says I must
wear this suit of armor
176
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:52,995
until you capture
the assassins.
177
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:57,032
He's been under
a lot of pressure lately.
178
00:08:57,837 --> 00:09:00,067
Who is a brave moo cow?
179
00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:01,567
You are.
180
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,642
Yes, you are.
181
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,876
Trussed up like a pig.
182
00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:12,409
Tell me, redcoat,
do you drink tea?
183
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:13,850
Well, yes, of course I do.
184
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:14,909
Aha!
185
00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:16,249
No further questions.
186
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:17,949
I fail to see
how that matters.
187
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:20,049
Because it was
your blasted beverage
188
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,754
that taxed the colonists
and inspired a massacre!
189
00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:25,456
I was only one year old
during the Boston Tea Party.
190
00:09:25,531 --> 00:09:26,896
A veteran, eh?
191
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:27,955
Lookie here.
192
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:30,232
This must be
British headquarters.
193
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,362
We gotta commandeer the fort.
Yeah.
194
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,439
That's the governor's mansion.
The French Governor.
195
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:40,439
Why I ought to cut your
tongue out for all your lying.
196
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:42,344
No. We may need her.
197
00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:44,643
Let's keep them
tied like hogs.
198
00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:47,684
Maybe they'll squeal
a little later.
199
00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:49,944
(BOTH SQUEALING)
200
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:58,521
Time to take back
the old red, white and blue!
201
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:02,861
(PLAYING YANKEE DOODLE
ON FLUTE)
202
00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:09,697
Jack, Jack, wake up.
203
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,543
Oh, what the hell happened?
204
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,641
We're in big trouble.
205
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:17,842
Hey, can we talk about it
later? I got a mean headache.
206
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:20,408
If we don't talk about it now,
there'll be no later.
207
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:22,784
You see, your friends have
exposed a metal canister
208
00:10:22,855 --> 00:10:25,346
to an electrical current
from my light prototype.
209
00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:27,358
Oh, whatever shall we do?
210
00:10:27,426 --> 00:10:28,893
No, you don't understand.
211
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:32,294
You see, the electrical current will
charge the metal into a powerful magnet.
212
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,424
I've never been so scared.
213
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,468
If the magnetism becomes
powerful enough,
214
00:10:36,535 --> 00:10:39,333
it will slide the Bunsen
burner across the table,
215
00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:42,238
igniting the petri dishes
full of flammable mold spores,
216
00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:45,166
and set them off
like firecrackers.
217
00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:47,269
If a single spark
happens to land
218
00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:50,645
in my turbine power generator,
it'll cause a short circuit.
219
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:52,274
Oh, get to the point,
will you?
220
00:10:52,351 --> 00:10:55,218
The point is, Jack, we're sitting
next to a ticking time bomb.
221
00:10:55,287 --> 00:10:56,379
(SPARKING)
222
00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:06,554
Well, I hope you've learned
a lesson from all this, missy.
223
00:11:06,632 --> 00:11:08,623
And what precisely
is the moral I'm missing?
224
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:10,692
Always put your toys
back in the toy box.
225
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:13,431
It was your buddies
that put us here, remember?
226
00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:16,441
Oh, for crying out loud,
what do we do now?
227
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,067
Blow! I thought we were just friends.
228
00:11:18,144 --> 00:11:19,475
The Bunsen burner.
229
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:29,216
Hello, did I come
at a bad time?
230
00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:30,585
Jean-Claude,
we need your help.
231
00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:32,783
There's a nickel bag of seed
waiting for you, buddy.
232
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:36,624
You have to clip the wire at the back
of the turbine generator to shut it off.
233
00:11:36,962 --> 00:11:38,122
Right away.
234
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:39,186
(SQUAWKING)
235
00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:43,426
Which wire, madame?
236
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:44,930
The red one.
237
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:46,869
Unfortunately,
I am colorblind.
238
00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:51,108
Well, you're just gonna have
to guess, aren't you, buddy?
239
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:54,738
Just out of curiosity, what
happens if he bites the wrong one?
240
00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:55,906
The same problem.
241
00:11:55,981 --> 00:11:57,471
It'll short circuit
and explode.
242
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:58,812
Okay, just curious.
243
00:11:58,884 --> 00:11:59,873
Here we go.
244
00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:01,581
(BOTH GASPING)
245
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:09,519
Red before yellow
or you're a dead fellow.
246
00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:13,288
What the hell?
Who wants to live forever?
247
00:12:15,868 --> 00:12:17,301
Come on, you...
248
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,402
Way to go, J-C.
249
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,346
How about caviar instead of
birdseed, my feathered hero?
250
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,780
Anything for the cause.
251
00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:32,316
Hey, look, we need
one more favor.
252
00:12:32,384 --> 00:12:34,409
But first, nibble us
out of these ropes, will you?
253
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:36,079
What would you two
do without me?
254
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:51,192
I never knew this Oregon
would be so tropical.
255
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,761
Did you say these were
just nettle bushes?
256
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:54,828
Yeah.
257
00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:59,807
Then why is my minuteman starting to
look like a diamondback rattlesnake?
258
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:03,547
This is no time to be thinking
about your skin condition.
259
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,811
We've got to defend
our country, man.
260
00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:08,046
Our God-given right
to claim the West.
261
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,883
I'm ready to storm
the place when you are.
262
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,115
Well, all right, then.
263
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:13,021
On the count of three.
Okay.
264
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:14,351
One,
265
00:13:16,195 --> 00:13:17,219
two...
266
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,491
(SCREAMING)
267
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:26,160
Three.
268
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:28,770
Hands up, Yankee scum.
269
00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:32,399
Governor.
270
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:35,575
It is perfectly safe
to come out now.
271
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:41,549
You are not in
Kansas anymore.
272
00:13:41,787 --> 00:13:44,347
Lead the way, little moo.
273
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:47,620
You caught them. Thank God.
274
00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:49,354
Hey, how did they escape?
275
00:13:49,428 --> 00:13:50,952
You knew about this, madame?
276
00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:54,332
We've been tracking
these American anarchists
277
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,265
ever since
they arrived on shore.
278
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,496
We would've come sooner,
but they abducted us!
279
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:01,165
I knew you were
a lowly traitor.
280
00:14:02,074 --> 00:14:05,669
I spit on your grave, you
lily-livered Benedict Arnold.
281
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:09,712
Well, my friends,
you picked the wrong day
282
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:12,046
to trifle with the Governor.
283
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:13,276
What's he saying?
284
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,376
I don't know.
285
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:18,082
Captain Brogard,
throw them in prison,
286
00:14:18,557 --> 00:14:20,718
and alert the firing squad.
287
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:22,954
We will execute them at...
288
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:25,886
Dawn.
289
00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,967
Oui, Governor.
Get along, little doggies.
290
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,572
Look, I say we take
the direct approach.
291
00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:40,976
Croque's paranoia has caused
him to triple the guard.
292
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:42,513
You'll never
get them out of jail.
293
00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:44,412
Okay, fine, I'll just
swoop down on a rope
294
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,508
and I'll rescue them
just before the execution.
295
00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:48,553
Jack, not even
the greatest American hero
296
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,851
could face down
an entire firing squad.
297
00:14:51,123 --> 00:14:53,523
You may be able to
dodge one bullet, but 10?
298
00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:58,194
Why do I get the feeling
you're not trying very hard?
299
00:14:58,264 --> 00:14:59,925
They want us dead, remember?
300
00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:04,095
Forgive me if I'm having trouble
mustering up the motivation to rescue them.
301
00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:08,128
Look, Em, I know you think they're
a couple of murderous bags of hair.
302
00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:10,472
Which they probably are.
303
00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:12,271
But when we were kids,
you couldn't find
304
00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:13,641
better guys
to raise hell with.
305
00:15:13,712 --> 00:15:15,646
Are you truly prepared
to risk your cover
306
00:15:15,714 --> 00:15:17,511
and possibly your life
to save them?
307
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:21,319
If they were in their right
minds, they'd do the same for me.
308
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:25,788
Fine, I'll help.
309
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:28,349
But I'm not doing it for them.
You can consider it a favor.
310
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,327
Okay, it's a deal.
Deal.
311
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:33,259
Very well.
312
00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:36,630
Our magnetic experience
has given me an idea.
313
00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:39,536
I may know a way
to stop the execution.
314
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,568
Secure the prisoners!
315
00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:46,440
(LEWIS AND CLARK GRUNTING)
316
00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:52,011
I quote Nathan Hale
when I say,
317
00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:55,542
"I regret I have but one
life to give for my country!"
318
00:15:55,854 --> 00:15:58,084
If you've got an extra one,
can I have it?
319
00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:00,352
Shut up, birdbrain.
320
00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:02,116
Dress up like a bush,
you said.
321
00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:04,322
(LEWIS AND CLARK ARGUING)
322
00:16:04,396 --> 00:16:06,227
Governor.
Emilia, my dear.
323
00:16:07,099 --> 00:16:08,327
Is this seat taken?
324
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,563
As a matter of fact, it is
not. Would you care to join us?
325
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:14,231
Most kind, Governor.
326
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:20,208
I can't imagine anyone else I'd
rather watch an execution with
327
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:23,180
than the bravest governor
in all the empire.
328
00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:27,378
Oh, my dear, I have always considered
you a woman of impeccable taste.
329
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:29,444
And the way you stood up
to those savages...
330
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,716
It was most inspiring.
331
00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:35,385
Not to mention you look
stunning in your suit of armor.
332
00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:37,486
I doubt King Arthur
ever looked so noble.
333
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:38,723
(EMILIA LAUGHING)
334
00:16:38,897 --> 00:16:41,559
Oh, look, they're just
about to get started.
335
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:43,897
My fellow Palau-Palauans,
336
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:49,467
any execution is
always a morbid affair.
337
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,772
(STIFLED LAUGHING)
338
00:16:52,978 --> 00:16:57,347
But with the capture
of these repulsive insurgents,
339
00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:02,643
we have demonstrated once again
that the security of our...
340
00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:05,019
Well, this should make
the Governor more attractive.
341
00:17:05,090 --> 00:17:08,958
...and the safety
of its people is always
342
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:12,828
paramount in the heart
of your governor.
343
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:15,862
What's he saying?
344
00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:17,333
I still don't know.
345
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:20,401
So, without further ado,
346
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,671
let the execution begin.
347
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,210
Up to you now, Jack.
348
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:34,882
I think he'll get
a charge out of this.
349
00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:38,423
Present arms!
350
00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:43,723
(BOTH WHIMPERING)
351
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:49,198
My dear,
I am feeling a little tingly.
352
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:50,557
Governor.
353
00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:53,927
Ready.
354
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:58,272
Aim.
355
00:17:59,445 --> 00:18:02,209
God save America!
356
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:03,270
Fire!
357
00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:08,277
Huh?
358
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:10,445
Huh?
359
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,858
(SCREAMING)
360
00:18:16,728 --> 00:18:18,286
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
361
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:28,568
(YELLING)
362
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:29,937
(JACK LAUGHING)
363
00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:31,407
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
364
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:38,509
You mess with my friends,
Captain, you mess with me.
365
00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:40,051
The Daring Dragoon.
366
00:18:40,752 --> 00:18:43,220
I should've known
you were behind this.
367
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,222
And, as usual,
you're just behind.
368
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,279
Get him!
369
00:18:48,393 --> 00:18:50,486
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
370
00:18:53,098 --> 00:18:54,190
(EMILIA GASPING)
371
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:57,459
(ALL MURMURING)
372
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,531
That'll teach you
to mess with the Daring...
373
00:19:01,607 --> 00:19:02,596
JACK: Hey!
374
00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:09,612
After them!
375
00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:10,841
Follow me, boys.
376
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,049
(BOTH GRUNTING)
377
00:19:14,386 --> 00:19:15,683
Come on, guys. Hoof it!
378
00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:17,187
(HORSE NEIGHING)
379
00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:18,450
(SOLDIERS SHOUTING)
380
00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:19,889
Can you ride?
No.
381
00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:20,982
I can't either.
382
00:19:21,059 --> 00:19:22,048
(BOTH SCREAMING)
383
00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:30,500
Mister Nipples is very angry.
384
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:35,536
"I, President
Thomas Jefferson,
385
00:19:35,607 --> 00:19:38,542
"do hereby swear the
aforementioned explorers,
386
00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:39,941
"Lewis and Clark,
387
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:43,404
"have landed
on the wrong continent."
388
00:19:43,949 --> 00:19:45,246
Yup, it's legit.
389
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:47,810
It's got the presidential
seal. Where'd you get this?
390
00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:50,514
Oh, a little birdie
who shall remain nameless.
391
00:19:50,589 --> 00:19:52,284
And who are you?
Yeah.
392
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,323
It's okay, guys.
393
00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:56,656
You don't have to apologize.
394
00:19:56,728 --> 00:20:00,027
(STUTTERING) Apologize?
We knew it all along.
395
00:20:00,098 --> 00:20:01,122
Right.
396
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,532
Just making sure you're
still up to par, Jackie boy.
397
00:20:03,602 --> 00:20:04,591
Good work.
398
00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:07,397
How are they ever going
to find their way to Oregon?
399
00:20:07,472 --> 00:20:09,565
Don't you worry about a thing.
I've got just the ticket.
400
00:20:09,641 --> 00:20:10,938
You can come out now.
401
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:16,336
Fellas, I want to
introduce you to Sacajawea.
402
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:18,406
She's a well-known guide
just in from the States.
403
00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:20,713
(STAMMERING)
We don't need no guide!
404
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,378
Especially don't need a woman.
405
00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:26,754
Get in boat!
406
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,754
Get in boat now!
407
00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:41,504
As I have just
elucidated, Miss Rothschild,
408
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:44,701
I find that by ungrammatically
dropping my articles,
409
00:20:44,776 --> 00:20:48,371
it inspires more fear
into the hearts of men.
410
00:20:49,781 --> 00:20:51,248
We head west!
411
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:55,848
Go west!
412
00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:00,453
You know,
I was wrong about you, Jack.
413
00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:03,551
You're as trusty and loyal a
friend as anyone could ever ask for.
414
00:21:03,629 --> 00:21:06,689
Thanks for sharing, Em. I didn't
want this "issue" between us.
415
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:09,063
I think we've reached an
adequate state of "closure."
416
00:21:09,134 --> 00:21:11,329
Good. Now can we get a pitcher
of beer and throw some darts?
417
00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:13,496
Yes, as long as we have
a good cry afterwards.
418
00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:16,040
SACAJAWEA:
I said west, idiots!
419
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,008
LEWIS:
Anything you say, ma'am.
420
00:21:18,058 --> 00:21:22,608
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